It's been a very hard and long road to get me this far. Hundreds of doctor appointments, countless exams, x-rays, medications and blood samples to figure out I suffer from Chronic Pain Syndrome and Fibromyalgia. On top of those, I am already contending with Meniere's Disease, Osteoarthritis, Hypoglycemia, IBS and chronic depression.
Having to stop working full-time in 2007 was a huge set-back and an even harder mental adjustment. I still struggle with the fact that I can't do the things I used to do years ago. I was an avid dancer, a jock who enjoyed tennis, football, baseball, volleyball (you get the idea) and now I'm relegated to the sofa or bed because the pain is so bad.
The constant intake of medications for everything makes for an interesting morning cocktail. 15 pills to give me the ability to get out of bed and be somewhat functional.
Functional these days, is being able to wash my own hair or stand alone in the shower. My constant dizziness and frequent falling makes bathing alone difficult at best. Even the heat of the water can cause me to fall and pass out.
I struggle with mobility the most. Getting around is extremely painful and walking just to my mailbox can be insurmountable task. I use a cane and have a walker for when it's really bad. Lately, I've been looking at scooters and wondering when that is coming.
So many people just look at me weird when I say I have 'Fibro'. Most don't understand how negatively it can impact your life and the lives around you. My husband has been beyond supportive and I'm sure that my inability to do things as easy as being on the back of his motorcycle, concerns him greatly. Never mind the disappointment when we can't go somewhere because I'm bed ridden.
After fighting so long, I'm forgetting what life was like before I fell into the pit of perpetual pain and anguish. I wish there was more tolerance and understanding for those of us who suffer from Fibro and certainly wish there was a cure.
Who knows, maybe the cure will come before my daughter gets afflicted too.
For now, we just keep struggling along and making people aware that a healthy life should be cherished and encouraged.
This was a sad, but very well written blog. I totally understand where you are coming from. I have many health issues and some started when I was very young, but it's only been in the last few years that things have gotten so bad that it's hard for me to get around and do the things I loved doing. I can't work and that bugs me to death....I miss it.
ReplyDeleteAnd I do hope that one day they find a cure for some of these awful illnesses we have to deal with. I have kids and I wonder when one of them will get hit by one of these illnesses. It worries me because I know I will feel it's MY fault.
Anyhow, enough about all of that. We DO have to keep struggling along, keep fighting...it's all we can do.
I am so glad I met you. I think we have TONS in common and I hope we get to know each other better! *hug*
Yea...redefining our own versions of functional is rough. But we'll keep hoping for a cure, for everyone's chronic ailments. <3
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